Tuesday, August 1, 2017

The Punk Years (Part Three)

   After a couple months of practice we scored our first gig. The venue was at the now defunct "Blue Saloon", which was a local watering hole in North Hollywood. It was fun but something was definitely missing, other than the lack of audience.

 We kept on plugging away through out the local club scene in Los Angeles, and eventually, we figured out what we were doing wrong. There was no chaos. We were just another band paying their dues. We had the songs, but we needed something more to take us to the next level.

  So, one night as we were heading to another gig down in Santa Barbra, Paul and I had a conversation.....

Paul- Yo dude. I've been thinking about the shows that we've been playing, and I don't think that they are getting us anywhere.

Me- Agreed. Any ideas?

Paul- I'd rather be infamous than anonymous, so let's destroy this club tonight.

Me- (laughing) Sounds fun. What's the plan?

Paul- I brought along a couple bags of tortillas and popcorn, plus, I picked up a bunch of stuffed animals at the local Goodwill. Let's pelt the audience and start a fight.

Me- That sounds awesome. Should we tell Scott? I know Todd will be down, but you know how our guitar player can be.

Paul- He'll probably be a little bitch about it as usual, but fuck him.

  And for the rest of the ride, all that could be heard from Pauls Honda was our maniacal laughter over the music of Devo....(Paul was a huge fan)

 When we arrived at the club, we were greeted by the promoter. He was one of those "I really want to be more punk rock than you...but never will" kind of fellas. And with his freshly cut mohawk with frosted tips, he led us backstage to get ready.

  Anyway, about twenty juvenile delinquents with NoFX shirts turned up for the show, and as soon as
I nailed some kid in the face with a teddy bear, they went berserk.

It took them less than five minutes to destroy the club with our ammunition, and as soon as song four had begun, the promoter pulled the plug.

Mr Mohawk- Get the fuck out of here!

Me on the mic- Thank you for coming! We're Kung Fu Chicken....and your not!

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