Sunday, February 18, 2018

I Was A Teenage Wanna Be Racist

  Just the other day, the conversation of fascism came up around the water cooler at work. My co-worker was ranting and raving about his hatred towards Nazis and how Mien Kampf is the only book he would ever burn. He then asked me if I was familiar with this literature and I responded, “ I’ve heard of it, but I have no interest in reading it.
  And since we had another fifteen minutes left on our break, I told him the story of when I was I teenage wannabe racist.

  It started in the late eighties. Skinheads had made a name for themselves after Geraldo Rivera got his nose broke on the set of his talk show. I was at my friend Gregs house (ditching school) when we witnessed this chaos on national television. Who were these guys? They were not your typical white guy you see on the tube. They were tough and rebellious. We were so in awe (and high) that we didn’t really pay attention to the message because their actions fed our retarded reptilian fifteen year old brains.

  And unfortunately, this plague of retardation spread through out the nation to other white suburban boys, kind of like what Emenem did in the nineties but without the swastika.

   But in my case though, I didn't really hate any one, and from a guy that comes from a multi national home, along with a fondness of Parliament and break dancing, this was an odd choice. But I got sucked in anyway, just like how so many other young men fall upon this path. Why does it happen? Who knows. Did dad not play play catch with me enough, did mom spoil me too much? The excuses will always be there, but the focus should be on the solution in how to get these young lads back on the right track. And even though I was dumb enough to fall into this ignorant lifestyle, I was lucky enough to be smart enough to make my departure. This didn't happen though until a few years later when I was in the army.

  I was stationed in Manhiem, Germany when I was 18 years old, and one of the first guys I made friends with was Skinhead Mike. He was this funny guy from San Francisco and we both shared the same interests which was drinking beer and obnoxious music. So we started to hang out and one day he invited me out to meet some of his other friends who were also serving in the military. There was Skinhead Jason (The crazy one), Skinhead Tom (The cool one), and Skinhead Dave (The dumb one).

  They excepted me into their little club, which was called the Bully Boys. I liked it because I enjoyed drinking and fighting Germans (which I did alot) but they quickly figured out that I wasn't a believer in their scene, which was worshipping Odin and blaming the Jews for their problems. They would preach, and preach, and preach until I grew bored and or get distracted by a non white pretty girl. Their German Nazi friends didn't like me as well because I would always show up dressed like a rapper while they were ducked out in suspenders and Doc Martens.

Nazi- Your friend is a Jew loving race traitor. Why do you hang out with him? And why is he dancing like a black in front of my girlfriend?

The Bully Boys would just shrug their shoulders in embarrassment and ignore me.

  So, after a few months of hanging out with these idiots I finally said "Adue" and made some better friends.

This is the  cringe moment of my life I wish I could do over. I'm still embarrassed about it, but it was a great learning experience about this dumbass community.

1. Living your life blaming and hating others is stupid and a waste of time.
2.Nazis deep down inside are scared little boys.
3. Their parties suck.
4. Parliament is way better music

Tuesday, February 13, 2018

Do you like to work?

Around third grade, I was paid an allowance....
But, my hard work and payment always seemed to be off balanced

My trade was to fill trashcans with dog turds....
And then drag them to the curb with out uttering a word....

Of under payment finance...
This deal was absurd.

When my folks weren't looking though....
I'd take the chance and throw dog dookie at the neighbors cats

Before my employers glanced back, to check on my plastic Glad sacks

And when I was really feeling my best, I'd beat my chest
And then catapult the rest over the fence

Where my cities dead were laid to rest

When my shitty job was over, the next one would begin
And with self pity, I'd shrug my shoulders and dump the remainder in the bin

While wiping sweat from my forhead and poodle and labrador off my chin...

And this was the beginning of my bad employee statis
But, for some reason I'd recieve gold stars anyway
Even though I was the baddest...

I'd still roll my eyes and call them cheapskates
And the saddest thing about this story, I'd say...
Would be that, you see this everyday
From Huet Packard to Circle K

Worthless bonuses and promotions being handed out
Like meaningless high fives and handshakes
You're are probably scratching your head now
About what my freaking point is....

Asking under your breath, and one raised eye brow
About where the ABC NINJA geeky joke is....

But, before I can say where I'm going with this
You people first have to wake up from your hypnosis

We all know overworked and under paid
Is the common trade these days....
And we have to pay our bills
To have it made in the shade
But, what if one day we swayed away from the norm
And GOD forbid, disobeyed...

And went against the grain for a change?
Creating something new, that could bring some extra bucks in

Do something we enjoy, that would feed our little munchins
Leave a footprint, and with our office shoes, we could chuck them

Throw away the Employee I.D., walk away and say fuck em

But the hustle will still continue...
Until we're all laid to rest

And recieve our own dog shit bombs
Hurled over a chain link fence

The world will keep turning
As the societies rinse and repeat this process...

    As much as this poem comes off as some anti-work rant, I actually love it. Why? Probably because this is the only thing I've been doing for the past thirty odd years, and I have no idea what I would do if I didn't have it. You should see me on one of my rare days off. I'm like a caged tiger. I just walk back and forth in my apartment, until my wife gets fed up and assigns me a job, preferably outside.

   I'm also one of those weirdos that enjoys routine work, no matter how remedial it is. If the boss assigned me toilet cleaning duty for the next ten years, I wouldn't care because that's ten more years of recieving a paycheck.

  I'm like this at home as well. I wash the dishes, do the laudry ( hang and fold as well ), take a the trash, etc. I think it's so fun that I go out of my way to wake up at 5am to do it! I would rather work than hang out anyday. If and when I am invited out with friends, I find it awkward because I can't just sit there and do nothing. I consider this a waste of time.

I am currently teaching my children this lifestyle as well. We play games like "Who can clean their room first" or "Pick up the beer cans in the park" (Whoever collects the most is the winner!)
What can I say? I'm a hoot!

Tuesday, February 6, 2018

Stay Away From the Looter (Loser) Mentality

It’s the idiots...


looting t- shirts and TV sets, winning back their civil rights....
When stealing potato chips and cigarettes is praised, something isn’t right....

The youth is being led by ignorance, from a hypocrisy nation

Making money on discrimination

Keep the hate alive

Wanting intolerance to thrive,
With glorifying violence and criminalization

And a destination, of only Facebook likes and stolen bikes   

Small minds think alike, as fire burns in the moonlight

Of their cousins "Dollar Store", this is a street fight

Against themselves....

Let’s kick in the doors of our fellow poor

And blame everyone else

You could be unstoppable, truly incredible
And prove them wrong in all that they say....
You could be admirable, truly unforgettable
If only you got out of your way....

You have a mountain of problems, thinking vandalizing will solve them

Another unruly mob fooled by self pity and overindulgence

Blow offs and handjobs from Government correspondence

This is the salt and pepper con, to what's really going on

There's a reason why glorifying education, is not popular in rap songs

Just the reverse...

A country's priorities that's sick and perverse

We are better off dumb, poor, and divided, stay inside and just remain

Brainwashed and Misguided….


This one is pretty much a no brainer. People that steal shit when chaos breaks out are opportunistic bottom feeders. They are the hyenas that circle the lions kill, waiting for an opening. We have all witnessed these idiots carrying away flat screen TVs laughing, while the first responders are pulling the less fortunate out of the sludge.
Why would they do this, especially when 99 percent of the places they loot and or vandalize are their own neighborhoods?  Is it because of race or the “Us against Them” class system? Or is it just because they simply don’t care about anybody else and the aftermath of their juvenile actions? I will go with the later because this is how I thought when I was fourteen years old. All I wanted to do was smash and take things that didn’t belong to me because I was king and the rest of the world was against me.
Luckily, for my sake, I grew up and grew out of this loser mentality. Reality slapped me in the face and then screamed with furry, “YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL! YOU CONTRIBUTE NOTHING! AND IF YOU WANT YOUR WORLD TO IMPROVE, BETTER YOURSELF!”
And as I wiped my messengers saliva from my face, I simply responded, “ Thank you.”


Friday, February 2, 2018

Johnsons Pond

There once was a boy that stalked these marshlands......

He'd capture his prey
And had torturous demands....
He went by the name of  Andy Macgee....
And if you knew any better....
You'd listen to me....
Andy was a little obnoxious twit
He'd hunt our kind
With out giving a shit.....
One minute, you'd be sunning yourself on a rock
The next you'd be stuffed in his dirty sock....
Everyday, it was nonstop
With pot shots from slingshots
To dashing and dodging big splashing rocks....
His favorite pastime though, was shooting us into space
We had enough and made a plan that we'd have brighter days
He'd always climax when we exploded
So, we planned to high jack his life until he corroded
Bottle rockets and matches in his pockets
Andy was ready to play with his toys...
Deployed, to end this evil boy
We used my brother Frank as a decoy
Andy tied his victim to the missle
And aimed it at the sky...
Hoping body parts would land on any passer by
 Franks wife gave a whimper
And his kids began to cry
 It was time for this little monsters demise!
But, before he became another notch on Andys belt
He felt, the attack from the back, and let out a yelp
He lost his footing and realised his blunder
The swamp life worked together and held him under....
Until he died!!!

“Everybody will have the chance to speak. Now please, get control of your selves!

   “We all know this is an important matter, but we will not be able to resolve this if everybodies yelling at the same time!” The room finally became quiet and got control of itself.

This pleased Lord Bergans. He loved slamming his gavel down with authority on the rotting log that separated himself from his followers, and especially, when it worked. It made him feel powerfull. And since he was longing in his years and his health was deteriorating, he would take any type of respect that he could get. He knew that he would eventually have to give up his kingdom to his overly ambitiuos son, and this troubled him. He thought to himself.... “He’s too risky. But then, wasn’t I when I was his age?”

“Excuse me, Lord Bergans? The father of the victim is here to tell us what had happened.” “Umm...yes...of course.. My apoligies...I was lost in my thoughts for a moment. Now, please, Mr. Leopold. Can you please tell the committee one more time, what had happened to your family?” Mr. Leopold, cleared his voice, and spoke. “Well, okay...Like I said, we were just enjoying our morning bask, when this boy...This terrible little boy, came out of no where and dropped a stone on us! I was lucky to survive. My poor wife though...I just hoped she went quickly.” “And your children, Mr. Leopold?” “Well, most of them just got stuck in the mudd and suffucated, and the rest just started dieing off. The Doc said it was because of stress of something...” “I miss them so much.”

Suddenly, someone shouted from the crowd.... “He’s a monster! We have to do something!” “KILL THE MONSTER! KILL THE MONSTER!” KILL THE BOY!”

And this was the spark that ignited the riot once again. Lord Bergans just rolled his yellow eyes and climbed into his chamber, with his overly ambitiuos son in tow. “Father, what are you planning to do about this?” Lord Bergans just sat in silence before responding to his son. “We have to kill him.”

“But, how father? He's much to strong for us. We will never stand a chance.” “I know this my son. But, the longer we wait, the bigger and meaner he will become. We have to strike now. We have to unite the pond.” “Unite with whom? The snapping turtles do not care about our demise, and the snakes only few us as something to eat.”

“You will have to convince them, my son. Think of this as a way to prove your worth to me as the heir to my throne, or have I read your ambitions incorrectly?” “No father you have not. And of course I will do your bidding, as usual.” And with this reply, the young bullfrog swam away, and disappeared into the murky waters of Johnsons Pond.

Andy was a normal four year old boy. Every day was a new adventure, no matter how trivial. He had a blind lust for anything that was new, and being at such a young age, pouring his own cereal for breakfast, was just simply amazing.
He loved the outdoors especially, which made his mother worry. If she had it her way, he would stay inside their padded house, where it was safe. It really drove her crazy as well, when he would make a mad dash for the back door, and head for the pond that sat behind their house, while their miniature dachshund barked frantically right behind him, like a partner in crime.

“Be careful, and don’t go to close to the water!” But the only response she would receive back was the slamming of the screen door.

This was his special place, and as much as his overly protective mother hated it, she knew she just had to grin and bear it because just like her husband always said, boys will be boys. But still, this pond gave her the creeps.
Andy loved exploring the shores of the mysterious pace. There was so much life here. It was like invading a new planet. And with his partner, barking and running circles around him, they would hunt for any signs of life, and then, destroy it.

Anything was fair game, and this killing had no malice behind it. It was just a game of…Can you it the moving target? The frogs were the best because for one, there were more of them, which fed his instant gratification, and two, they would sometimes make the mistake of getting too far from their watery safe space, and if Andy couldn’t get them, the dog would. He found it hilarious when he was able to flatten them with a rock. SPLAT! It was just like the cartoons he watched on television, but this blood was real.

These little outings not only filled him with enjoyment, but power as well. He was the king of this little marshland, and his dog was his biggest fan. But today would be his last.

A cold shiver ran down his mothers’ spine. Something was wrong. “Andy! Is everything alright? She called out the kitchen window. There was no response… “What’s that boy up to?” And then, that’s when she heard the dog barking, frantically, “Andy?” Are you teasing the dog again?” The dogs barking continued, which was followed by a quick “YELP!”, and then….silence.

“What’s going on out there?” She sighed and then put on her slippers, so she could go outside and investigate the way mothers always seem to do when their offspring are just a little too quiet. The second she glanced towards the pond, she saw a clump, covered by her dogs’ hair, slowly being jerked and dragged into the muddy water. “Oh my God!” She froze for a brief second, and then…started to scream when she saw her son thrashing in the water further down the shore.

“Andy! Oh my God! Andy!”

“Mama! Mama! Help me! It’s biting me! Mama!”

Her son was now chest deep inside the water, fighting for his life, while two very pissed off snapping turtles pulled him towards his place of final rest “Mama! The boy screamed was once more, but then was muffled by a large water snake coiling around his terrified face.

And then he went under….

“Andy!” She dived into the water to save her son, but it was too late.

The Macgees eventually moved away, and the pond was closed off to the public. The coroner report said the boy drowned, but the amount of bite marks that covered his body, blood loss and shock could have been a big part of it.

After furious debate, Johnsons Pond was declared a wildness preserve. And, the inhabitants of this murky place? They lived happily ever after.

Monday, January 29, 2018

Be a patriot to your communty.

Here's a crazy thought....
Before you choose hastily in having your patriotism bought

Choose your family over your country....
And have your children properly taught.....

If you want to put your hand on your heart, forget about the patch of dirt you're from...

Start with unlearning about cross and mosque burnings
Who has the better team, and after life religious yearnings
Dieing for the best toys and biggest earnings
And the future will have a better outcome....

 The old men on the hill
Would rather have you killed
Then give up their houses, trophy wives, and  stay hard pills
Blood will forever spill....
Until we stop killing each other for dollar bills

Go talk to your neighbors
On a regular basis...
Barbecue with other races
And learn how to squash discriminatory faces

Build your communities
And forget about big governments
Create local opportunities
While the fat cats complain about your no sell out stubbornness

Stop being rudderless
Remaining lost and adrift with the rest of the otherness

Harness your power, and move with the swiftness
And let your children be your witness
So, that they can take the reigns and not miss this
Time in history, when finally, the poor people got fed up
With living in misery...
And finished this....

Stop buying shit that you don't need
Stop living for greed
Grow your own food
And educate your own seeds

And for all you war mongers
Fight for good causes
No longer dieing for profit losses
Taking bullets for unknown foreign bosses
Just keep the wolves at bay
So, the wives can create unbelievable marinade sauces

Because when its time for the changing of the guards
And the voting public is queued

Your new savior again, doesn't give two shits about you


 I remember a quote from the infamous Dave Mustaine that stuck with me for many years.

He said, " I look at politics with cracked glasses.", meaning from a guy who writes about politics "alot" in his music, he doesn't really understand it, and neither do I. But one thing I do know his whomever is in or has been living in the White House, they have no knowledge of my existence.
And other than seeing them in the media, they are not a part of my life as well, so I hold no malice.
But, I would be a lier if I said I wasn't a cynic to pretty much anything that falls out of their mouths.
I think a large majority of them are just in it for the paycheck and the private jailbait sex parties in the woods. What am I talking about? Click here

What and who I do know are the people that live in my house and community. We see each other everyday and we feed off each others strengths and weaknesses. Everyone pitches in and our lives are simpler and easier to understand than what ever the big wigs in Washington are spewing about over the airwaves. But then, I'm an expat living in Tokyo, so my situation is probably alot different from yours. But you can do this too with out a passport!

I have never been a big fan of strangers in 3000 dollar suites controlling my life, so when my wife asked me if I wanted to tag along with her to Japan, it was an easy sale.

 And it wasn't just the government I was tired with that inspired this move but the people as well. I was tired of watching morons tossing their garbage on the ground, filling their bodies with garbage, and then talk garbage about their countries leaders for treating them like garbage. There seems to be a pattern here. I figured distancing myself from this defeatest lifestyle would probably be a wise decision, and it was.

So, here's my challenge to you.

I'll call it "The Big Clean Up!"

Clean up your attitude.
Clean up your house.
Clean up your diet.
Clean up your neighborhood.
And if you can clean up anything else, do that to!

Life is a lot easier if you stay local and  stop relying on the men and women that you serve entrees to that you probably can't afford.



Thursday, January 25, 2018

Guns and Amurica!

When I was a youngster....

Exploring ancient structures
Life in general was pretty freaking awesome!

Finding hiding places in dumpsters
Being hunted by jungle monsters
When I was caught, I would play possum in their cardboard dungeons

But then one day, when I was at my friends house drinking cool aid...
He asked me if I wanted to see something really cool....

First, he made sure that his dad was away, and when he was sure everything was okay....
He took me down the hallway, to his fathers room.....

He pulled out a box from under the bed
"It's locked, but don't worry." is what my friend said
"I know where he keeps the key."
He dug through his dads socks, but then bumped his head
I laughed, and kicked my stupid friend in the knee.

But then, out of no where, the magic key appearded
And the secret container was finally opened...
My jaw dropped as I was standing there
While my butt sucked up my underwear
I was staring at my first uzi sub machine gun

My friend nudged me and said, "Pretty cool, huh?"
I finally budged and replied, " What should we do, bruh?"
We both wanted to pick it up, but to be honest, it was kind of scary
Because we didn't grow up with video games....
The internet, or anything else that would warp our brains
When it came to grown up things we were always wary

And when personal issues would arise
We were taught to suck it up, and stop complaining...
We would handle our problems with fist fights
There was no need for guns to be blazing
And we didn't consume happy pills like they were french fries
We'd just go and fuck shit up, feel better, and flush the shit like toilet training
After the bloody noses and black eyes, we were friends again at the end of our crazy nights
We were different from the kids today that are raised insanely

So, we locked Pandoras Box
And went back outside and threw some rocks
We never spoke again about what we had seen
We met some local kids that lived down the block, and drew pictures on the sidewalk with out coloured chalk

And grew up to be decent human beings....



  I like to write commentaries about these little poems, but when it comes to "What are we going to do about the gun problem?" I'm stumped. I know people that really, really, hate guns, and I am good friends with people that think the complete opposite, but when this issue comes up (usually after I bunch of people have been shot) they Hee and Haw about the topic but never really come up with a solution.


 I'm neither for nor against fire arms. I have fired many 'o boom stick in my day, and do find them entertaining, but if you told me I could never shoot the shit out of some beer cans or paper targets, I wouldn't really care, but I do have friends that do and would probably weep all over their camo overalls if they received this news. My liberal friends have this idea if they made guns more expensive, or if the government made stricter laws, the problem would be resolved. But like the old saying, "If there's a will there's a way", the gun nuts out there would just purchase their toys illegally, or come up with some type of barter system.


Gun nut 1- Hey man, I will trade you my AR-15 for a jug of that moonshine.

Gun nut 2- DEAL!

And who can blame them, right?
When it comes to giving up the things you love for some one elses benifit is tough. It would be like asking me to erase 80's metal from my life just because peoples heads explode from head banging too much. I'd go underground with my embarrassing passion because no obnoxious music would make Pat a sad man.
Or let's say you lean towards the left and the government made soy lattes and sexy fireman pin up calendars illegal. Would you change your lifestyle for the sake of others? If you responded yes, you're a lier because you are human, which makes you a selfish bastard like the rest of us.


Guns will be with us no matter what, for a very, very, long time, so all I can say is educate yourself on the topic, and if shit gets squirrlly....DUCK!

Here's some more satire I wrote on this subject

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Do you believe in aliens?

Oh me oh my, I see lights in the sky

Is it for my demise or to enlighten my third eye?
Should I dare to stand and stare or should I be scared?
Who and where should I share this or should I stay solitaire?
Did they come from outer space or underground facilities?
The latter’s a possibility from my governments’ abilities

This is no joke and I’m not a comedian
You must choose a side and step off the median

Alien nations planning our obliteration
Killing rebellion forces that try to face them
Sniping off Greys and blowing up Reptilians
I get a fulfilling feeling when I’m out killing them
Healing our extinction and taking back our freedom
Never bow down to please them and feed them

There is no reason why we can’t freeze them
This is war motherfucker!
I declare open season

I’m my brothers’ keeper with a street sweeper
Inspiring you to be meaner
When you’re firing your heat seeker.
Load up the six shooter and take the shottie off the shelf
The gun store’s full of looters, taking all the wealth
What’s hunting me is hunting you, so whatcha gonna do?
Put our differences aside or end up as human stew

Watch the flocks panic and get smoked like crack rocks
Mayan clocks set the day for non-stopping popping glocks….
Hiding facts from the public was like committing child sodomy
When they signed contracts for alien technology
Different religions and ridiculous bitching
Is cooking and sizzling dead in the kitchen
My fingers itching and my bullets like kissing
Just diss the system that agreed to assist them

Underground bases hosting alien races
Shaking hands with racists that refused to save us
Sold us, enslaved us, and served us up like waiters
Nothing can change the way they disgraced us
Now I’m lock and loaded with my family on the floor
My daughters in shock and my wife can’t take any more
The invaders are overconfident and don’t know what’s in store
I got two big barrels pointed at the front door!
I’m my brothers’ keeper with a street sweeper
Inspiring you to be meaner
When you’re firing your heat seeker.

The gun store’s full of looters, taking all the wealth
Load up the six shooter and take the shottie off the shelf….

This poem was inspired by a (long) short story I had written

named “Wise One of Japan”. If you follow this blog, you probably have been spammed

by me regarding this SciFi comedy.

If not, here is a link so you will know what the heck I’m rambling about.
More is on the way!

  Ever since I had witnessed this strange orange orb float over my house as a child, I had considered myself a huge fan regarding the subject of aliens, until I went to a UFO convention with my buddy. That was the day that I had realized that I was just a mere poser in this sub genre, which is probably a good thing.

  Have you ever had a conversation with someone that spoke your native language, but after five minutes, you just walk away rubbing your temples questioning what the hell they were talking about? Yep, that was pretty much most of the people there. But, I still on occasion watch the videos on YouTube, and whenever someone brings up the subject my nerd light turns on. All I’m saying is I still find it interesting but I won’t be investing in Tom Delonges ( dude from Blink-182 that claims he knows important stuff about aliens, but won’t tell anyone) company anytime soon.

In ending, I had added my little orb story in another story I had penned last year.
Check out the link



I Was A Teenage Wanna Be Racist

   Just the other day, the conversation of fascism came up around the water cooler at work. My co-worker was ranting and raving about his ...